Connect to Protect
I love looking back on a year. I often sort of feel as though I'm just along for the ride as a year unfolds and the days seem to just happen to us. Looking back gives me a chance to see how it wove together, creating beautiful patterns and our very own tapestry.
This year, I want to track our story a little more closely and with a bit more intentionality. Each week, I aim to set a goal, form a pattern, track progress. I'm not one to stick with things, so this has already been a challenge! But I'd rather not behave like a bystander. This year, #intention52 is my mantra and I want to remain present each step of the way.
So week one // We played more and it was honestly a lot of fun! Normally at this time of year, I'm preparing for a women's event that requires lots of running around and last minute prep. I said no to the event this year and I haven't looked back. I was able to enjoy the holidays with my family, finish projects around the house, and hang out with my kids. We played hide and seek with friends, tried out new games, and dove head on into the land of make believe. I still had to cook, clean, and fold laundry. I pretended that we have a cleaning staff, but we do not. BUT it was ok. We connected in the spurts of time that we were together and it made all of our hearts a little fuller. When we choose to connect, we actively protect what our family is building.
What works:
*Have fun. Just do it. You'll feel better, I promise. Find the things that you enjoy and share them with your kiddos. Suck it up and do the things that they enjoy, as well. Whenever the kids want me to make a stuffed animal or doll talk, I turn it into play therapy and select a topic that will subtly teach them to be better humans. I can't help myself.
*Take turns. Make sure everyone has an opportunity to choose what you will be doing. This might be a positive reward from desired behavior and that totally works. But we are all more likely to play along when we feel like our turn is coming up next!
*Take breaks. Sometimes my husband played, sometimes I did. Sometimes we all did our own thing. It wasn't planned or discussed ahead of time. Having time to ourselves made it easier to connect because our personal little tanks were topped off.
*Be patient. The kids will still argue, you will still feel annoyed, overwhelmed, tired, etc. Your partner will feel like a roommate or colleague. Toys will break, dinner will be a bust, and the laundry will still need washed. And those dishes. Who invited them anyways? They are EVERYWHERE. But impatience will speed up your heart rate and intensify all of it. Anger, frustration, disappointment. They will establish expectations that will let you down and leave you feeling ravished. Acknowledge them, of course, because monsters are scariest in the dark. Then dethrone them because venting and dwelling do not solve problems. They retell the story and put it at the center of the day. Regroup and come back to it. It's okay to need a moment to yourself and it's okay to not have the answers on the spot. Be kind to yourself and to those around you because you're all figuring this out together. And you all want to look back on this story and love how it unfolded.
